A Step Closer to Knowing...

I had a meeting with Luke's doctor today. Marty was there and so was Luke. Luke was tired and on his worst behavior. I was actually ok with that because it gave the doctor an opportunity to see the behaviors that worry me. I have a typed document with me to remind me of all the questions I wanted to ask.
Luke is going to have a follow up EEG and is going to have an echocardiogram. This will help us be informed when we go to have the genetic study done at Shands in Gainesville. Luke has had the following tests;
MRI (normal)
Chromosome analysis (normal)
EEG (abnormal)
Vision test (normal)
Hearing test (normal)
Metabolic testing (normal)
Swallow study- showed he needed therapy
Now, he will go through the genetic study at the end of March 2009. I asked what the doctor thinks the genetic test will do. We all know that if he is autistic, the genetic study will be inconclusive. So... here is what the doctor said- She said that, from the documentation I provided and what she has seen in the office, Luke has autistic behaviors. When I asked her what she thought would come back on the genetic study, she said that she thinks he has some sort of syndrome. He has some sort of syndrome with autistic behaviors.
I respect Luke's doctor very much. She has a son, who is now in high school, that is autistic. She has been through the struggles. She told me to not be afraid to allow myself to grieve. She says that she has been there.
When I ask Marty how he feels, he only says that Luke is his son and he is special and loved. He says he is not sad or upset. I feel like a complete idiot for being so torn up inside about this. I want, more than anything in the world, to go through this process with Marty. I just feel like he doesn't want to go through it with me. He gets impatient and snappy when I get emotional. Truthfully, I am hurting. I need something- some support, someone to talk to, someone who will let me cry and let me know that everything is going to be ok. My mother provides that for me... but... I would like it from someone who is not my mother... You know?