Our Movie Experience

So, we took all the kids to see a movie today- Kung Fu Panda 2. I just so badly wanted to do something fun. I wanted to see a movie. I guess I was feeling selfish. There are so many things I can't do with Luke. He is sensitive to extreme heat and sunlight and cold. He is light sensitive and sound sensitive as I found out during the 15 minutes I was able to stay in the movie.

Luke became extremely overstimulated. He started stiffening and flapping his hands. Then, the high pitched sounds started. The sounds turned into screams, so I just took him out of the theater and walked him up and down the hall. He continued to flap and scream. It wasn't that he was upset. He was excited. After 30 minutes of walking, he had calmed enough for me to carry him to the bathroom. Then, I found a table in the lobby and we sat for 45 minutes.

So, what have a I learned? Luke does not do well at the movies. So, I should not be so selfish to take him into a place that causes him such sensory overload. I will stay just stay home with Luke and let Marty and the older kids enjoy themselves.

I hate the fact that Luke can't enjoy the things that his neurotypical sibling do. I guess, I am upset. I so wanted it to work. It just doesn't.

I will praise You in this storm...

I look at my son and all I can see if perfection. I know, in reality, he has autism and cerebral palsy and cognitive delays, and he is non-ambulatory, and he has gastrointestinal issues, and... the list goes on an on, but to me he is Luke, the 3 year old little boy that I am so in love with and would give my own life for. So, I am caught in this in-between world. My heart and spirit know that my son is something more than others give him credit for. My mind and this world tell me that he is "low functioning". I can be reality based, but I long to dream for my son.

I look at my family and I see beauty made from ashes. Marty was a broken man. I was a heart-broken, hopeless woman. We came together and made something so wonderful. God created a family from broken pieces. We are so blessed.

Our family is currently on stormy seas, but we have hope. Jesus was on a boat, a storm was fast approaching, the waves were building, yet he was asleep. The disciples were flipping out, yet Jesus was asleep. Once he awoke, he went to the waves and said "Peace. Be still." and the waves were still and the wind died down. There is a mountain in front of us, but our faith is strong and we are telling that mountain to move in the name of Jesus!

So, while I am dealing with sadness, grief, and anger, I know that He that is in me is stronger than this world!