Memories

This picture was from almost 2 years ago. I have spent some time looking at pictures from the past 4 years (pictures taken after meeting Marty). Luke was a beautiful baby- he still is. His skin is so pretty and his hair is so thick and curly. I strain to remember when the girls were babies. I enjoyed them so much. I loved watching them learn how to crawl, play with their toys, learn how to pull up and walk. I expected those things to happen with the girls and so, when they did happen, I wasn't surprised. I was happy, but I didn't really celebrate the milestones.

With Luke it is different. When he rolled over, I celebrated. When he started army crawling, I counted it as a victory. When he began crawling, I took videos and pictures. My heart longs for him to hit other milestones. I so badly want to hear him talk. My heart longs to hear him say, "Mommy". I look forward to the day when he will walk.

Sometimes, it is easy to become discouraged. The days when I don't see growth make me question. Lately, I haven't seen growth. I have actually seen some regression. He is beginning to choke on his food more. He is constantly congested. He seems disconnected lately. I hate it. I feel like he has to fight to grow. I feel like I have to fight to see him grow. We cannot afford lost time. He needs certain therapies. I am having to fight to get him into them.

The more I am finding out and learning about the world of disabilities, I am becoming more resolved to make a difference. Parents and their children with disabilities need many people to advocate for them. I am pushing through hurt and worry and choosing to position myself where I can make a difference. Oh, that God would open doors for me to help others!