Pure Happiness

I have gotten to spend most of the evening alone with Luke. It has been refreshing. Our afternoon together started off with a surprise-

I picked up Luke from Mimi and PapPaw. When I walked in the door, Luke was playing in his "gym". His "gym" is his room at Mimi and PapPaw's house. They have all his toys on the floor so he can play with them. I went into the livingroom, which is down the hall and across the kitchen from his gym. I talked to Mom and Dad for a while and then I thought I heard Luke's little voice in the hall. I got up to look... He was crawling towards me! He heard my voice and wanted me. When I picked him up he screamed and smiled. He got so excited.

So, I drove him home and fed him dinner. I have been on the floor with him for a while. I know not to force it with him. He doesn't like to be crowded. I just let him be, and he crawled up to me and snuggled my leg.

I celebrate every little victory. The little things are HUGE to me! Yeah Luke!!!!

The Little Boy Who is Teaching Me About My Son

I have been working closely with a little 3 year old boy who is autistic for the past week or so. Knowing him has changed my life. He is a tiny, brown hair little boy with pale skin. He talks a little bit. He can name some animals and he can say "No!". He came to me not knowing how to request something that he wants. He would take my hand and lead me to the object of his desire, but he could not request it verbally or with signs. I learned quite quickly that he liked to squeeze things, especially when he was frustrated. For example, if someone wouldn't give him what he wanted, he would pinch. If he was feeling frustrated with me, he would find the nearest piece of my skin and squeeze. I quickly found a squishy ball to replace my skin :)

This little boy loves pressure. He loves to press his face against me. He loves hugs. He loves to be squeezed when he hugs. I have noticed that Luke likes the same things. So, I went home and hugged Luke. I squeezed him tight and said, "Mommy loves Luke". His reaction was priceless. He smiled and laughed and squeezed me back. The little boy I am working with has taught me how to bond with my son.

I love each of the four boys that I am working with. They have such a hard road ahead of them, but the right teachers can make all the difference. I am hoping that I will have as big of an impact on them as they have had (and will continue to have) on me. They are helping me face the reality of having a son with a disability.

Sippy Cup Victory!

I have finally found a sippy cup that Luke will drink from!!!!! So, no more bottles! I was bound and determined to get him to the place that he would drink from a sippy cup by his 2nd birthday. Luke beat my deadline. I want people to view him as a two year old and not a baby baby. Marty says I shouldn't worry about what others think, but you know what, I do! I am sorry, but I do care what others think. I do not want to be viewed in the wrong light. I do not want my children to be viewed in the wrong light either. IT MATTERS!

Refreshed

I spent the day with my two girls today. We took our puppy to the vet and went to Target to spend tooth fairy money. I am finding that shopping is theraputic. The girls bought some items from the dollar section and I bought them summer camp appropriate shorts and shirts. They are going to Santa Rosa Christian this summer. They have strict dress code rules, so I had to buy the girls shorts from the boy section. I hope they'll forgive me :)

Gracie and Sydney love to brush my hair, "play lotion", and put make up on me. They are so cute. They will fight over which side of my head belongs to them. I really needed this time with them. Now I feel refreshed and ready to face any challenges that may come my way...

Here is what Sydney wrote to Jesus today- "I love Lord. He has blessed me. When I call Him he comes to me". She accepted Christ on July 16th, 2008. She knows her Lord. Gracie is getting there too. She is beginning to understand Christ's love for us. :)

Not Forgotten

It is so easy to become consumed with all that is going on with Luke. There are just so many questions in my mind. I spend so much time thinking about everything. I have noticed that my other three children are engaging in some quite dramatic attention seeking behavior. It has kind of shook me back into reality. All of my children are equally important. They have all changed my life. They all deserve so much. I guess we are all learning how to act in a large family. I was an only child. My husband was one of two children. Our children are getting used to it also.

I am sure my children have noticed that I am really distracted. They are also hating the fact that I am working this summer. I guess I feel a bit guilty. I hope that all of my children know that I truly love them. I need to learn how to meet the needs of my children. Now, I realize that I am not capable of meeting all needs. I do need to clear my head and allow myself to truly enjoy what God has given me without worrying about the cares of my life.

Total Awesomeness!

Just a few minutes ago Luke did this! He pulled up to the table in order to get his bottle (major reinforcer!). He tried for about 5 minutes, then became frustrated and fell back on his bottom. He then did something great- he tried again. He actually walked on his knees to get back to the table to try again. This time Marty moved his bottle closer so he could get it.

He is a totally different child since being off his seizure meds. He interacts more and cuddles more and makes more noise. It is truly fantastic! To see my son act more like the boy I know him to be has brought me so much joy! Yes, he still has strange behaviors and he still does not communicate with words... but... he is communicating with actions now. He is looking at what he wants and moving towards it. He is noticing the world around him. He now notices the leaves in the trees and his siblings. He is truly an awesome little boy and I look forward to seeing him grow... Then, we will give God the glory! God has been good to us. God has been good to Luke. I guess I am just realizing that now. I have been so confused as to why Luke had to go through this. Now, I truly believe there is a higher purpose. There is a plan. There is NO coincidence.

Tests that Led to More Questions

So, One great thing came out of the three day testing that took place. We found out that Luke is not having seizures! How awesome is that?! It is a total answer to prayer. He no longer has to take meds. I noticed a couple things while he was not on meds during the testing- he smiles, laughs, makes some eye contact, and tries to communicate a bit. It is awesome! So, thank you Lord for an answer to prayer~

The one frustrating thing is that the testing really didn't provide any answers. We know what is not wrong... we just do not know what is wrong. It is frustrating. I really want answers~