Awesomeness!

The neurologist increased Luke's seizure medication. This has been such a great move! Luke has started really working on crawling. He is doing the "army" crawl now. He has also started eating table food. He has eaten grits, potatoes, cole slaw, green beans, and banana bits. I am so proud of my little boy. He is sitting up, and trying to stand up. He has grown so much in just a week! He went from having full blown seizures to growing by months developmentally. I am so thankful to God!

Behaviors

I took Luke to the mall today. He was in his own little world the entire time. About an hour into our adventure, Luke started showing signs that he was completely overstimulated. He was making weird noises and weird facial expressions. It is normal for him to act this way when he is overstimulated. What was different this time was that people were staring. I was so very uncomfortable. So, I covered his stroller with a blanket. He calmed down a bit, but continued to act strange for the remainder of the day. Mom says that she is at a place that she doesn't care about other people. I am not there. I do not care what other people think. I care about how people stare. I don't like it.

I dropped Luke off with Marty this afternoon so I could go to the dentist. When I came back home Marty told me that Luke had been having some major seizure activity. As I was making dinner, I noticed this major seizure activity. He was actually frothing at the mouth. I really do not know whether to worry or to just think that it is just something that Luke does. The doctor said to call the neurologist. I put a call into the neurologist, but no one has called back. Sometimes I feel like I am going crazy.

Constant Congestion

Luke has been congested since birth, it seems. Every month, we have to go see the doctor because he is running a fever and has green snot flowing from his nose. I want this to be clear- I HATE SNOT! So, I asked the doctor what could be done. She wants us to take him to an Ear, Nose, and Throat specialist. She also wants a catscan of his sinuses. Now, Luke had an MRI of his brain and sinuses at 3 months. It was completely normal. I wonder what could have changed in 1 year. He was congested back then. Who knows?

So, I guess we'll be able to add a catscan to the long list of tests Luke has endured. He is such a little trooper. He has been poked and prodded and looked at and discussed for a year now. He is still as patient with us as ever. God bless him.

To The Point of OK

I believe that I have reached the point of "OK"... for now. I have spent a week in Georgia getting to know my sister-in-law's 2 month old little girl. I thought that it would be a bit more tough to be with a little one who is "normal". It really wasn't. I enjoyed the fact that I could interact with Kherington and still feel happy. Babies, no matter if they have health problems or not, are true blessings.

No Words

I really did not know what to title this blog, so I left it as "No Words". My worries and fears about Luke have really gone away. Well, they had gone away. He is not feeling well. He is running a bit of a fever and is extremely congested- again! I get so frustrated about his health. Every other month we are having to deal with medicine, doctor's appointments, and his humidifier. It is so different with him. Sydney and Gracie stay pretty healthy. Even when sick, I have not worried about them. With Luke, I feel this great fear creep into my mind. The "what ifs" tend to just get me all worked up. The Bible says that God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind. I quote that scripture to myself all the time. It still doesn't change the fact that I would be traumatized if something bad happened to Luke. I guess I just need to get over the fear.

Christmas is 3 days away. I hate that Luke does not interact like other children. He sometimes doesn't even participate in his own life. He is in some other world 75% of the time. So, 5 out of 6 people in my family unit will really experience Christmas. Luke will participate as much as he can. I would so love to see his eyes glow with excitement. I would love to see him walk to the Christmas tree. I would love to hear him say "Mama". For now, an occassional smile will do, but oh how my heart wants more! To know that my little boys knows me and wants me would be the greatest Christmas present I could ever receive.

The Echo

Luke had an Echocardiogram a couple weeks ago. It showed that he has a "tiny" hole in his heart. It is something that corrects itself in the growing process most of the time. So, there is no real worry. They are just going to watch it and make sure that it heals.

Next up- the genetic study at Shands in Gainesville, FL in late March 2009.

A First

During our time in Georgia, Luke really began to reach out to me. He smiled when he heard my voice and even made some brief eye contact. A miracle occurred during this time. Well, it is a miracle in my world. I was laying on the floor in my in-law's living room. Luke was several feet away in his own little world. A couple minutes after I laid down on the floor, Luke began scooting towards me. He was looking straight at me and trying his hardest to get to me. Once he arrived by my side, he grabbed my shirt and pulled his face into my chest. He was laughing and trying to pull up on me. He was actually reaching out to me and wanting only me. It was the best single moment I have experienced since Luke's birth. It was in that moment that I knew that Luke knows me and wants me. I cannot explain how wonderful it made me feel. It was truly a miracle- a much needed miracle.